What You Call Madness I Call Normal
by tiggerz.1
Summary: she was pulled out of this life forced out because of horrible events in her life. but now he has brought her back in and she cant get out again. the daughter of a porn queen and a son falling in love with the biggest and baddest of them all. read as her life turns upside down and her past comes back and the love she once thought she long forgot about rears its head. tig tragger oc
1. prolouge

I never thought that I would ever be wrapped up into this life again. After my mom's death due to what I believed to be the clubs fault and my father incarceration and what _that man_ did pushed me over the edge. It has been two long years of not dealing with the club I barely go and see my own father even. I started up my own farm and slowly started a relationship where Derek is well aware of my family and what that entails and he accepts that and even accepts the face that if the odd chance came and I was dragged back into that world he would still be here. But right now he is gone left me alone to go visit his family and now caught off guard I and pointing a gun at _that man's_ head as he stumbled into my barn bloody and bruised. I never thought I would be brought back into this world but _that man_, tig tragger, brought my world crumbing down on me once again.


	2. it was nice to see you again

{I do not own the sons of anarchy only my own character and anything you do not recognize. Please like, follow and comment all are welcome and needed}

"Vickie?" Tig asked

"What are you doing here Tig?" I replied not lowering my gun at all.

He flashed me that bad boy smile that all the ladies fell for. He was leaning on the side of my barn door blood coming the corner of his lip and it looked as If he was hurt, really hurt. The inner part of me wanted to keep him at arm length tell him to leave like I did last time but the rational human being side of me was telling me I needed to help him. "You know me babe, I'm just doing what I do best getting into trouble."

I rolled my eyes typical. But I wasn't going to shot him, didn't mean he needed to know that. I was always unpredictable around Tig and he knew that. "What happened?"

"Let's just say pretty boy didn't appreciate his wife taking an interest in someone else."

I felt a slight pain in my heart at his words, so he really hadn't changed. "So are you going to sit there with that gun pointed at me all day or can you help me."

After a slight hesitation I dropped my gun placing it in the waist of my jeans and walked over to him, placing his arm over my shoulder and helping him into my house. My house was nothing fantastic it was a one story two story home. Its walls were a nice shade of dark oak to the right of door was my cozy living room and to the left was the kitchen and dining room straight down the hallway was my bedroom and office and bathroom and down the stairs was the den which more or less had a lot of storage, things I tried to hide from. As we came in through the door Tig was getting harder to hold up and we ended up stumbling into the wall. Which earned a loud bark from Veguara my 2 year old blue nose pit bull. Could be a real shit head when she wanted to be but she has protected me more than a couple times. She came around the corner and barred her teeth slightly at the stranger in the house but when I petted her head as I walked by she knew it was safe.

I finally was able to make it to the couch where I let him go and he slumped into my couch. I told Tig I would be right back and walked to my bathroom. I bent down to the cupboard that was below the sink and rummaged around for my first aid kit. Once I grabbed it and stood up I took one look at myself in the mirror I was pretty plain if you asked me or at least now I am back when I knew Tig and everyone else I looked a lot more stunning I always had my honey blonde hair dyed black with subtle red highlights in them and it was always down and either straight or my natural curls tamed so it wasn't so wild and I always had make up on around my eyes so it made the creamy blue eyes pop and my choice in clothing always showed my fiery but innocent personality. But since I left that life I stopped dying my hair and It was frizzy wild curly and always pulled up out of my face stopped wearing makeup and I was always wearing shoes or boots, jeans and a plaid shirt. And to be honest there are times where I wish I still looked that way I always had eyes on me and now I'm just plain. But I pushed that thought into the back of my mind before I let it go any farther and dwelled too far into the past.

I came around the corner to the living room and I found Tig shirtless inspecting his wound. I could feel the heat rush to my face as I tried to ignore the racing of my heart, the effect he still had on me I refuse to accept that fact. He made eye contact with me and I could see the smirk on his face start to come. I rolled my eyes I would not let him have the satisfaction of knowing what he can still do to me. "lean back so I can look at it."

"Yes ma'am"

I placed the kit on the table and sat beside him. By the looks of it he got shot in the chest on the right side just below his shoulder. I shook my head but opened the kit and grabbed out what I needed to clean and dress his wound. "Careful darling this will hurt."

Seeing the painful look on his face caused me to smile smugly. In my mind he deserved it.

After about 45 minutes we were done. "Alright well that's all I can do. I've just temporarily stopped the bleeding so I suggest you call Gemma to come get you and bring you to the Chibbs."

He looked at me slightly with what looked to be curiosity in his eyes. But he didn't argue he knew he wasn't welcome here with me anymore and he grabbed his shirt heading outside for what I supposed was a smoke.

I was just leaving the bathroom from putting the kit back when he walked back in. he stood awkwardly in the doorway before he asked. "She will be here in a half an hour I hate to ask but you got anything for the pain Vickie It hurts like a bitch."

I nodded my head and went into the kitchen pulled out a bottle of ibuprophen(sp) and gave him a few. He nodded his head and swallowed them. "You hungry? I have some of my supper left that I was saving for tomorrow but you can have it." I told him nodding my head in the direction of the steak on the counter I had yet to wrap

When he didn't say anything I placed it on the counter and pushed it his way. "Go on eat its still hot. Want anything to drink?"

"You got beer."

"What kind of a question is that?" I asked amused

"Well you have changed so much I wasn't sure if that had to."

"I changed because I had to Tig not because I wanted to and you know that." I said coldly sliding a beer in front of him.

He went quite after that, we both knew nothing needed to be said as the fight that would occur wouldn't be pretty. About twenty minutes later he had finished eating in complete silence while I grabbed his plate and headed to do the dishes. "So you going to tell me the real reason why you end up here on my farm and not just back at the club you could have called someone?"

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to. I thought you would have learned that babe."

"Stop calling me that and I think I have a right to know since you are in my home and I did help you when I could have just kicked you to the curb."

_Like you did_ I thought

"Nothing for you to worry about."

"You mean nothing for me to know, club business I know. That's all it is for you."

After a few minutes of silence Tig asked the one question I did not want to answer. "Weren't you happy?"

"What do you mean?" I tried acting oblivious.

"You know what I mean. I gave you everything a home, money, clothes a life. Hell Vic we were trying for a family. What did I do?"

"It wasn't about that, it wasn't even the club I could handle that look at the life I was surrounded by. It was the fact that you hide things, your life is the club it beckons you go running because through everything you could never say that you loved me and I couldn't…never mind I don't know why I'm telling you this it's over it's in the past."

I felt his rough hand grab my upper arm whirling me around to face him. "You couldn't what huh?"

When I was quite I felt his grip tighten and his face come close. "Why? Don't I deserve that much after you left with no explanation as to why?"

"Because I couldn't bear to see you where my dad is okay does that satisfy you?"

"You knew what you were getting into when you agreed to be my old lady." He said I could see the anger in his eyes.

"It wasn't jail I was afraid of it was you going away forever okay!" I shoved him away from me pacing to the other side of the kitchen throwing my hands up in the air in frustration, "I couldn't live with not touching you, I couldn't live with having a family with you just for you to be behind a glass fucking wall okay. I couldn't do it without you so I left!"

I could see the battling of emotions in his eyes as he tried to choose his words carefully. When a knock came on the door and Gemma strode in her boots clicking against the floor. When she spotted us in the kitchen she could sense the tension in the room. "Hello Victoria."

"Hi Gemma. He is already for you."

"Okay baby it was nice to see you, Tig?"

"I'll be right there Gemma."

She nodded her head and started for the door but turned around and looked at me one last time and said in her mama tone. "You know baby we all miss you especially jax and juice. You should come for a supper one day. Catch up."

"I'll think about it."

"Alright you know where to find me, it really was nice to see you again."

I flashed a smile at her. I loved Gemma and I had deep respect for her. She stepped up and became my mom when my mom had a fall out with drugs and never looked back. But when I severed my ties with the club well she came with it. Tig started after Gemma before he turned around and said. "You know you never had to leave, you know how much I cared for you I never thought I had to say it to you but I hope your happy now in this make belief life your living. But what she said was true everyone does miss you. It's definitely different."

With one more look he was gone. I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding and stared after the man I once loved. Trying so hard to ignore the truth that was lingering in those words.


	3. I'm coming home

{Alright guys thanks for all the support for this story sorry for the late update. I'm doing the same thing I'm doing with the rest of my fan fictions. To update the stories people are wanting updated sooner I'm going to base how soon I update on how many people either favorite, follow or review. Reviews can be advice or a request to update or even just a comment it doesn't matter. I'm not saying I won't update because I will just won't be as often if the above doesn't happen. If that makes sense? And thank you to Nina I appreciate your comment I'm glad you like it and I hope you enjoy this chapter. I don't own the sons of anarchy only my own character and anything you don't recognize. So please comment, follow or favorite. Thank-you! Ps anything in italics is in Tig's point of view}

After he left I felt my legs crumble underneath my weight and I fell to the floor, holding my hands in fist to my chests. I thought I had gotten rid of all my feelings towards that man. But as the tears fell from my eyes onto my chest and hands I realized how much I missed him and not just him but everyone else. After about thirty minutes of being on the floor my phone started to go off in the living room. I got up and walked into the living room and picked up my phone…it was Derek. Realization hit me, I can't love Tig because I'm with this man. The man that promised me the life I wanted from Tig. But the emptiness I felt in my heart didn't leave instead it grew. I took a deep breathe rubbing the tears from my face before I cleared my throat and answered the phone. "Hey Derek."

"Hello sweetheart. How is your day going?"

"Good."

"Anything interesting happen?"

"No just finished with the horses a few hours ago." My voice cracked a little and I tried to disguise it by continuing on with the conversation, "How is your family?"

"What's wrong I can hear it in your voice?"

I felt my heart skip a beat, I couldn't tell him about Tig or his visit. What was I going to say? I started to panic when I thought of the other part of why I was upset…my family. But did I really want to tell him that, I had a bad feeling but what else was I going to do "Vic?"

My eyes darted around the room before I stared at my fingers, "I miss my family, that's all."

"Like your dad or your mom?"  
Of course he wouldn't think you the other part to my family I never talked about them. "Yeah it's my dad, I think I might go see him tomorrow."

He sighed but still had that sickly sweet sound to his voice that I loved so much. "I think it's a good idea babe, give him my best. Remember I will be home next Sunday?"

I flinched at one of his nicknames Tig's face flashing in my mind and the hurt look on his face. "Thanks hun and I will be here I'll make your favorite super."

"Okay I love you."

"Love you to. Talk to you soon."

_We just pulled up to the club house and I was just about to get out of Gems car when she grabbed my arm and spoke up for the first time since we left Vickie house, "You okay baby?"_

_I couldn't lie to her, she would know but who am I to talk about my feelings with anyone. I had a flashback to what Vickie said in the kitchen. Maybe that was my issue maybe that was why she left because I pushed her away because I don't share. I think it was time to start "I miss her."_

_I leaned back in the seat and took a deep breathe. I could feel her eyes on me but I didn't want the pity. "I know baby I know, "she patted my arm, "I think she will come around I saw the look in her eye tonight when I came in. But when she does I'm going to let you know this now, figure out what happened and hang onto her for dear life, don't let her go this time Tig. I saw the love in her eyes the burning desire she had before she left but I also saw the hurt and frustration. So be careful. She will come around Tiggy you just gotta be patient."_

_I was doubtful but hearing Gemma say it I couldn't help but feel a little hope._ _She gave me her charming smile she knew how to use oh so well and I got out of her vehicle. There was a party full swing in the clubhouse but I needed a smoke before I could face the boys, a chance to clear my head. So I sat out on the bench watching the fight go down in the ring and lite up a smoke. No one but Gemma knew how I felt about Vickie now. That she just wasn't some chick I kept around for arm candy or to fuck don't get me wrong I missed that terribly these sweetbutts had nothing on her. But what hurt the most was when I finally opened up and let that bitch of ex out of my life and tried to move on with her, I was too late, she slipped through my fingers. Even though what Gemma said gave me hope I'm not sure if I want her back I would be scared to get close to her, to lose her again. _

_The door opened to the clubhouse and someone came and patted my back. It was Jax. "Hey Tiggy your missing the party. Stace is looking for ya."_

_Stace was one of the younger most recent croweaters to walk in here. She was brunette with emerald green eyes and a small body that looked like she would break if you dropped her. Preferably I preferred them with meat on the bone but after Vickie I went after the complete opposite of what I really wanted. Stace dug her claws in me the moment she saw me. Which I was starting to hate as she was getting clingy, I had to constantly remind her of her place here, that she wasn't and would never be my old lady. But I needed someone to play around with and get Vickie out of my head. I stubbed out my smoke and got up to head into the clubhouse but Jax stepped in front of me and said, "Ma told me what happened out there, look man she will come back what have I been telling you all along? I should know."_

_I was really starting to hate that sentence, "What? You mean like Tara did?"_

_I didn't mean to snap at him, I know that he means well but she was getting to me again. I chuckled and put my arm around his shoulder steering him towards the clubhouse doors. "That came out wrong. Let's just enjoy the night and leave the past where it should be at least for the night."_

_"Whatever you say."_

_He patted my back one more time before my eyes made contact with Stace. She started to walk towards me exaggerating her movements especially in her hips (which she really didn't have to begin with) swaying them drastically. When she reached me she leaned into me her long nails sliding up and down my chest while she whispered into my ear, lips brushing them. "Where ya been hiding? I missed you."_

_She was pretty drunk but, I didn't care. She grabbed my shirt and started to pull me down the hallway to my dorm. I tried to ignore the stare from Jax. When I got into the room, I kicked the door closed behind me and let her lead me to the bed. As she pushed me to the bed I notice her lean in and try to kiss me but when her lips meet mine, all I could think about what Vickie and how her lips felt on mine the last time I kissed her and I pulled away letting my anger getting to me. I picked Stace up and threw her on the bed and leaned over top of her I could hear her giggle underneath me. I laid my hands on her but I couldn't stop thinking about Vickie. About how her hips felt being squeezed under my hands, how soft and perfect her skin was, the sounds of her voice. "Tig?" Stace called seductively from underneath me, "what's wrong baby?"_

_I rolled my eyes, I can't do this right now. Not after today. I pushed myself off her and went to the desk in my room, peeling off my cut and placing it on top of it. I looked over at Stace, she was on her elbows looking at me curiously. "Get out." I barked_

_"But—"she tried to dispute with me_

_I interrupted her, "GET OUT!"_

_She instantly got up and scurried for the door making sure to slam it as she left. I smashed my fist on the desk. "Fuck!" I yelled at no one in particular._

_She wasn't even here anymore and she is still cockblocking me. I laid back on my bed knowing there was no reason to leave and let sleep take me._

This place…I haven't been here in so long to see the man I call father behind bars. He never blamed me though, we talked regularly but even he knew the pain it caused me every time I walked into this place. I was always a big daddy's girl and I still am. It pains me so much to see the man I have loved the most since the moment I was born behind a glass window for life. So I could never touch him, it made me cry every time I came here. But I couldn't wait for our normal call I needed my daddy.

I took a deep breath as I stepped out of my old 1988 dodge Dakota and walked towards the gates. My dad never liked the thought of me working for a living when I got a family that can fully support me or I could work with Gemma but he respected my wishes and he never liked it if I dressed like my mom, he always said it would attract the wrong kind of attention…I guess he was wrong even when I dressed sexy but classy as my mother would put it, I still attracted the worst attention, Tig's. So I figured I would jazzy it up a bit today and instead of my normal wear I dressed up like I used to. I wore the long black flow skirt I got from him at my last birthday and a white off shoulder blouse that ended just above my belly button and I wore my mother's favorite black wedge heels they had a bow on the straps. I let my hair flow down in curls and put on my two charm necklaces I received from both my parents. As I walked through the main doors that lead to visiting room I started to grab at my hands. I was getting nervous but when I walked in and saw my dad sitting there all calm I felt a wave of panic go over me. He turned and looked at me and smiled, I couldn't leave now. So I walked over to the chair and sat down hesitantly and picked up the phone with my dad. His smile never left his face as he said, "Hey my beautiful star what are you doing here? I was surprised when they said I had a visitor but even more so when they told me it was you. Don't get me wrong I'm glad to see you finally but what's so wrong that you came to see me instead of our normal phone calls."

"Nothing daddy I just wanted to see you again, I thought it was about time."

"Don't lie to me. I can see it in your eyes tell me what's bothering you so I can help you."

I looked down at my lap and started to pick at my dress. "Victoria?" he whispered to me

I looked up when my dad called out to me and his hand was on the glass a big smile plastered on his face. I looked hesitantly at the guard who watched this happen but looked away as I made eye contact, I took that as an okay. I leaned forward and placed my hand in front of his. Even though I know in my head that I can't touch him or feel him but it's still just as comforting. "Tig." I said matter of factly

He chuckled slightly but didn't look surprised. "What's happened?"

"He showed up at my door, hurt and I helped him but then we started talking and Gemma came and I…I….I don't know what to do anymore daddy. I love Derek and I was happy and then he came back and now I don't know what to do. I miss him but I'm not sure if I want to go back to that and I miss Gem and Jax and Juice and all of them what should I do. I need you."

"Well in right here now baby. I can't say much about the situation with Tig because that is not my place to decide but remember you go back to him and you either accept the life you lived in or you come to some agreement to make it better, to change what was bothering you the last time. If you go back there is no turning back. Tig may be a big boy and is probably stronger than most of those boys but even I know he loved you and it broke him when you left, "he started to give me advice but I looked up shocked at how he would know how Tig was feeling but he cut me off, "I may be a one eyed man behind bars Victoria but I'm still kept in the loop and people still do come to see me. When I found out about the separation I demanded to see Tig and I didn't even need to ask to know what happened. But Victoria whether or not you choose to leave Derek and go to Tig everyone there is your family. They always have been, you may be out on your own but you're not alone. They miss you, every time I see one of them they are always questions about you. And if you miss them maybe it's time to follow the trail home. Even if its baby steps? No one says you have to go straight to the garage start out by going for Gems suppers or go out with some of the boys. But before you make that decision, you need to make sure Derek is prepared for that or else you can't come back with him."

I knew he was right. He always knew what to say to me unlike my mom. He and Gemma were always the people I could talk to when I couldn't talk to anyone else. I could feel the tears brimming my eyes and start to fall down my cheeks, "I'm scared."

"Oh baby don't do that. Don't cry you know I can't stand to see you cry. You don't have anything to be scared about just make sure that you are a hundred percent certain that you want to go back but I don't think you will regret it. Remember what I use to tell you when you were scared."

I could feel the smile spread across my face as I quoted his favorite saying. "a dim star will barely shine when the world is falling apart, when the world around them is growing darker and darker and there helpless to stop it but a strong star will shine through all the ciaos, all the hurt and all the pain because that star will bring the happiness to all dim stars around it which in turn will bring the other stars back to life once again and push the darkness away."

His smile grew and he asked, "and who is that star."

"Me."

"Exactly you will always shine brighter than any other person out there. That's what attracts people to you. You have no reason to be scared baby anything you have been through that any normal person would have crumbled from you stood strong and proud. So go be that star I know you can be and bring life back to the boys, they could need it. You need it."

I couldn't help but smile at what my dad was saying because it was the truth and I think he knew that to "Thank you daddy."

He nodded and smile at me one more time before he called to the guard and I left, knowing exactly who I need to see next. As soon as I got in my car I reached for my phone and dialed the number I memorized by heart, "Hello?" an irritated voice answered

"Hi Gem."

"Victoria?"

"Yeah. Hey I know this is kind of sudden and out of the blue but I want to come back or try to at least. Can we meet for coffee take about this some more?

"Sure baby. I'm just going to go tell Clay and I'll pick up the coffee and meet you at the park?"

"And ill grab the chocolate croissants." I smiled at the tradition we came with.

After a quick goodbye I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Maybe this is exactly what I was seeking. My dad was right I needed this and as It stands I pushed Tig out of my head. For the moment I didn't need to worry about him, I had Derek after all. I would just learn to deal with it, at least that part I didn't want to remember of my dad's conversation.


	4. Dwelling in the Past

{Hey guys sorry for the late update I've been focusing on two other fanfiction's so I figured I would give you a long one. I also thought I would mention that if anyone has any ideas or thoughts or things they would like to see let me know either by reviewing or messaging me. If I can fit it into the story I definitely will, it may not be right away but I will. so I hope you guys like it. Remember to favorite, follow and like please it's all important to me. I don't own the sons of anarchy only my own character and anything else you don't recognize.}

I sat cross legged on the bench looking at the kids playing at the park when Gemma sat beside me. I gave her a nervous smile but passed her, her croissant and took my coffee from her. She was beautiful as always, she was always good at that, and she knew it. Unlike me, I stopped dolling up like that when I left, today was the first time in a long while that I had and it was for my dad. I don't know what I was nervous about, I know no one blamed me for leaving not after my mother's death except maybe Clay but, he didn't stop me. I looked back at the kids and after a few moments of silence Gemma was the first to speak up, "so what's with the sudden meeting baby? Don't get me wrong it's good to see you again but, I was surprised to hear from you?"

I looked down at my coffee and picked at the lid before I spoke up, "I went and saw my dad today…first time in almost a year."

She didn't say anything but she nodded her head so I continued, "I realized when I saw him that I missed this, the family that I've left behind. I love my farm and Derek, it's a great life but its missing something and it always has and I realized what I was missing today."

I looked up at her as I finished, she was looking at me with those kind mother eyes she has. She cleared her throat and wrapped her arm around me, "that's great news baby doll we have all missed you but, are you sure you're ready to face everyone again?"  
I knew she was subtlety hinting at Tig but, I knew when I decided I wanted to come back that it was unenviable that I would welcoming Tig back as well. When I didn't immediately speak up she gave my shoulders a quick squeeze and stood up offering her arm to me. I looked at her quizzically and she spoke, "as long as you're ready, I'm throwing a family dinner tonight. It'll just be the boys and Wendy, it will be a great surprise, and the boys have been down in the dumps for a while. So I figured we could go shopping if you want to join us."

Wendy…that wasn't someone I had thought about in a long time…we didn't exactly get along, before she got together with Jax she was always trying to get with one of the boys and when she tried with Tig well, I wasn't going to let that fly. Gemma must have seen the scowl on my face and she let a little laugh escape her lips. "Come on are you going to leave me hanging?" she asked

What was the harm in one dinner and I was dying to see the boys again. I pushed off the bench and put my arm through hers. "Shopping sounds good, I could use a new outfit or two."

We laughed as she drug me away.

"The boys are on their way so they should be in here in ten minutes I want you to hide they don't know you're here."

She was pushing me towards the back corner of the dining room. I giggled out of excitement. After she was done placing me in the corner she headed towards the entryway, her fingers lingering on the light before she asked worriedly, "you coming back, does that have anything to do with a certain visitor of late last night?"

I knew she was referring to Tig and even though I didn't answer her she knew just as well as I did that his visit is what got me thinking about it. I bite my bottom lip and looked away from her. "Okay you don't have to answer but, he will be here tonight and you know he misses you so try and play nice?"

I laughed nervously, it's true he was going to be there but, I tried to push that thought past me as I heard the roar of the bikes as they pulled up. Gemma looked excited, our previous discussion completely forgotten as she shut the light off and motioned for me to be quite. The first one through the door was Jax as he greeted his mother. After all the boys came through the door they were commenting on her cooking…well our cooking but they didn't know that yet. I couldn't help but smile as I heard Jax get closer to the entryway and asking, "why is it all dark in here ma?"

He turned on the light and the moment his eyes laid on me I saw the biggest grin grow on his face. "Hi trouble" I said with a smile equally as big.

"V." he said almost breathlessly as he basically ran up to me

I let out a small scream as he picked me up in his arms spinning me around. When he set me down his hands landed on my cheeks pinching and pulling them out. "Owwww."

When he let go I protested, "What the hell was that Jax?"

"That's what you get for staying away for so long."

I punched his arm and he looked shocked and asked, "Holy crap, you always had a good arm on ya but have you been working out?"

He started to poke and prod at me and I was trying to desperately to smack his hands away. "Hey now, is there no love for me?" Juice asked from behind me and he wrapped his arms around me from behind and lifted me up

I giggled and when he put me down I spun around and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "I missed you!"

He laughed shyly and rubbed the back of his head, "Yea me to Vickie."

I gave him a pat on the shoulder and looked past him to see Chibbs with his arms wide open for me. I ran into him and gave him a huge hug. I loved Chibbs, he helped me so much and when I would cry when I was a little girl for my dad, he was always there. Weirdly enough I loved his smell he always smelled of a unique cologne that he would get from Ireland, whiskey and smokes but it was comforting. "Uncle Chibbs!"  
"It's nice to see ya again Lassie."

He gave me a kiss and passed me onto the next person, which was Clay. We weren't to terribly fond of each other but, we didn't hate each other. Bobby was next and he was just as important as Chibbs I loved his hugs they were always bear hugs for me. Wendy stood off in the corner with Gemma and when she saw her turn came she was polite and gave me a half awkward hug and pulled back to look at me. "Good to see you around again."

It was halfhearted and I knew she was lying, she always loved the spot light on her but, she was Jax old lady so, I couldn't say much. In truth I believe she was just the rebound from Tara because Jax is lost without a woman hanging off him but, after Tara left he was crushed and Wendy was convenient. I plastered a smile and said, "Good to see you to Wendy."

I saw Gemma behind Wendy giving me a warning look. So I back off and turned around to greet the last person left in the room, Tig. He stood in the corner, looking at me with longing. He looked like his usually rough self but, it was what drew me to him. His hair was a disaster and he had on his regular grey jeans and his light blue shirt with the top few buttons undone. What was distracting though was the oil streak on his left cheek. He was never good at taking care of himself. I took a few cautious steps towards him. When I reached him, his deep blue eyes eyed me cautiously and I reached a hand up and rubbed off the mark gently. He looked shocked at first but after a few minutes of his eyes searching mine he cleared his throat and looked away from me. I realized that the room had gone dead silent at our interaction.

I gave everyone a smile and spoke, "okay let's eat I'm starving! Jax you must catch me up on everything I have a feeling there is a lot?"

We had finished supper and everyone was sitting around the table having their own conversations with one another. Gemma and Wendy had left to go get dessert as the boys demanded it. I couldn't help but smile at all the familiar faces around the table. Everyone was in there own conversations when I decided I would get up to go wash the dishes before Gemma got back. As I stood scrubbing I couldn't help but let my mind wander to the men sitting in the next room. Not all of them were good men and they knew that but, in my mind they made up for it with all the good they do…or rather there old ladies do. I also knew there was no reason to be scared or threatened by any of the men there, it was hard to get on their bad side and once you were there you stayed there. There was no way back into the hearts of a son once you messed up and you had to mess up bad. I was no better in a sense, it's not like I stabbed Tig in the back but I turned mine on him. Truth was I did miss Tig but I would never admit that to his face, I realized this last night. He broke through every barrier I had put up over the years in the matter of one night. My body ached for his touch, I loved Derek but, my heart, body and soul would always belong to Tig and this thought scared me. I was washing a wine glass and I was so focused on my thoughts I hadn't heard the heavy footsteps leading into the kitchen. A pair of hands wrapped around my waist resting on the lower part of my stomach, the smell of aftershave and cologne wrapped around my body as a pair of lips rested on my neck laying soft kisses on the back of it. At first I thought it was just my imagination running wild with me and I felt my body instantly relax into their arms. It only occurred to me that Tig was actually doing this when I heard him whisper my name into my ear. I jumped and squeezed my hands out of reflex which broke the glass that was in my hand. I swore and pushed away from Tig. "What the hell was that?" Tig asked from behind me

I threw a look over my shoulder as I held my now bleeding hand over the sink, "what do you mean what was that? I should be asking you that."

He rolled his eyes and stepped towards me, he mumbled under his breathe, "it didn't seem like you were rejecting the thought at first babe, give me your hand we need to get to Gemma first aid kit in the bathroom come on."

He grabbed a dish towel and placed it firmly in my hand, then he grabbed ahold of my hand and pulled me along to the bathroom. Gemma bathroom sink had a long counter top and Tig picked me up like it was nothing and placed me on the counter. When he placed me on the counter my skirt had hiked up to my knees and Tig stepped in between my legs. I watched him as he grabbed my hand and pulled it under the warm water clearing off the blood before he reached above my head for the first aid kit and started to bandage up my wound. It wasn't deep but I couldn't help but think that normally it was me doing this to Tig not the other way around. I let a small giggle escape my lips and he looked up at me puzzled. "What?"

"Nothing…it's just your normally the one that needs bandaging not me." I laughed once more

Tig had finished bandaging my hand but, he didn't let it go. He was looking at it rubbing my knuckles with his thumb. I could tell he was deep in thought I knew he wanted to talk but I wasn't ready. I needed to get out of this room I became very well aware that we were alone in a room away from the others and even if Gemma was back and noticed our absence or anyone for that matter probably wouldn't say anything otherwise. I gave his hand a squeeze, "Thank you Tig but I should get back out there and finish."

He still didn't look up at me, just kept staring at my hand. When I went to move though he put his hand on my leg, his fingers just barely slipping under my hiked up skirt. He put enough pressure to make me stay and he looked up at me, those beautiful blue eyes looking deep into my own. No words were said between us as he moved his hands to cup my cheeks while he brought his lips slowly to mine. Before he placed his lips on mine he looked at me for any sign of hesitation. My mind wasn't catching up with my actions, all I could think of was Tig and how much my body and heart ached for him. When his lips touched mine, they molded perfectly with mine. It started out soft and passionate but it got deeper quick. He placed his hand behind my neck entangling his fingers in my hair and I leaned forward into him placed my hands on his jaw pulling him closer to me. My mind was blank and I felt his other hand that wasn't in my hair pulling my waist towards him. It was like we couldn't get enough of each other. Then I could hear some annoying ringing in the background, it was distracting almost nagging. I started to pull away and Tig tried to pull me back. I grabbed my phone from my blouse pocket and I pushed Tig away slightly. I looked at who was calling…it was Derek….


End file.
